hi everyone ... I've been MIA for awhile ... went into hibernation mode once again ... was making forward progress and idk got overwhelmed with various negative stuff and guess could say knocked me on my ass once again ... seems to be taking me far more time to pull myself back up and move forward the older I get lol have to say this post is even more boring than other ones ... depressing actually but it does help to idk vent ones frustrations etc. lol figured better warn you lol

Haven't really been on here or posting for awhile ... just jumping on and going through alerts in blogland ... a few times when get a message I'll reply - figure decent thing to do since someone took the time to send a message ... also, as far as texting not really texting much ... silver fox went silent for awhile but recently texted me (he still hasn't actually used my number to call and talk for whatever reason which makes me wonder why, have to wonder why but whatever lol ... all others that were texting went silent -which is typical and no surprise lol I've repeatedly let it be known I'm not interested in the whole idk sexting type of thing(s) ...

Most of my time is spent escaping in erotic romance ebooks and my fantasy boyfriends ... real life kinda sucks ...

Seems Alex is struggling with several issues/situations ... while still adjusting to being back from deployment his best friend (his army husband) who has been struggling with some demons a long time, gave up the battle ... he killed himself not too long ago ... Alex was really torn up and called to talk to me about it ... it seemed his buddy (Jared) was doing much better ... Alex was looking forward to Jarod and I meeting ... he's hanging in there - took my advice and has sought out help to work through it all ... apparently there have been several more suicides since his friend's ... I'm fairly sure Alex will be okay -I'm not overly concerned as we are alot alike ... we may wish at times to want to giveup/check out but would not actually act upon it - doesn't hurt that we're far too stubborn lol life is short enough as it is ... Jarod moved in across from them and they hung out together when not on base at work ... Alex is looking to move - it's too hard with everything that happened ... Alex drove Jarod's remains to his family in Illinois and spoke on behalf of his fellow soldiers who knew and/or served with them ...

I am going to visit my mom and other family over the holidays ... so be out of town for two weeks - weather permitting I'll head down there by either Thur, fri, sat or sun next week to spend Christmas and New Year with mom - plan to return weather permitting on Sunday January 5th... mom already has like 5 casino trips so she can play her free play - think on Tuesdays and Fridays while I'm there to use her free play ... have a brunch date set with my two sister-in-laws ... my brother and his wife are taking mom and I to dinner Christmas eve and I'm going to church afterwards with my brother ... will mostly be driving my mom around alot and when not doing so will be playing card game(s) as well as Yatzee the rest of the time when not doing various projects around her house she wants done while I'm there lol I'm always exhausted after my visits as well as adjusting to being back in my apartment and alone again ...

Well sorry for the idk negative blog ... hopefully I can once again drag out of this rut I have again fallen into and start taking baby steps to once again move forward lol I might surprise myself lol pity parties can only last so long lol

I hope you all have a great holiday season ... for those of you lucky enough to be out there playing I hope you find what you are looking for ... remember to keep it real, play nice xo

One can only hope that 2025 will be an improvement over 2024 ... lol never know what tomorrow will bring and how things can change without warning ... hang in there xo take care xo debi

If I end up duplicating anything I apologize ... it's hard to keep track after a point ...

Tis the season for some Christmas music ....the first one is my favorite since I became a mom